There Ain't No Lord

Contributed by Phil Bancroft

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith in God and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch daily and shout; "PRAISE THE LORD!" Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"

Hard times set in on the elderly lady and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. Once again, she stood on her porch and shouted; "PRAISE THE LORD... GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"

The next morning the lady went out on her porch and found a large bag of groceries and shouted; "Praise the Lord." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Ha Ha. I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries. God didn't!"

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying, "Praise the Lord, He not only sent me groceries but HE made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"